Jennifer Hubbard resides in Newtown, CT. The younger of her two children, Catherine Violet, was a victim of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. (I just had to post this.)
She approached him boldly, asking outright, LORD, DO YOU NOT CARE THAT MY SISTER HAS LEFT ME BY MYSELF TO DO THE SERVING? TELL HER TO HELP ME.(Lk 10:40). I empathize with her exasperation and frustration. Even if the answer were, “Of course I do,” she’d beg to differ. Later, her brother has died, she is tired and weary and, still, she runs, and falls at his feet. I picture him consoling her uncontrollable sobs. Then she squares her shoulders and lays fault directly on him. LORD, IF YOU HAD BEEN HERE, MY BROTHER WOULD NOT HAVE DIED(Jn. 11:21). When my body is weak and my tears stream to the floor, Martha asks boldly what I only dare whisper, “Do you see how hard this is? Do you really care, because if you really did you’d do something?”
Despite my frustration and weary accusations he never leaves me. He meets me in the moment when I miss my little one more than my heart can bear and when the pain suffocates. He meets me squarely in the moment of my brashness and leaves no room for me to question if he cares. He tells me, NOW JESUS LOVED MARTHA AND HER SISTER AND LAZARUS (Jn 11:5). He did not simply care for Martha. He more than cared, he LOVED Martha. Just as he consoled her, he consoles me. He slows my heartbeat and restores my breathing. He brings a peace to my soul and lifts my face to him, allowing the sun to dry my tears. In this I know I am loved.